it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
