am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
