Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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