It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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