She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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