We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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