dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
they're like a gay fantastic four
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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