this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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