Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
