SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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