i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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