you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
