Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm going to jail i love you
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
