He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
