wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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