you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Is it penis luge time yet?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
