4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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