great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
