he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
