i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
