party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
