It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
