I didn't shave. On purpose
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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