What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
