I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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