I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
