Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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