is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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