Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
