just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
