Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
