We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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