that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
