I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
