I want to make a zoo with you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
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