my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
