life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
