And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
