I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
