He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
