How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
