She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
