Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
