Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
