If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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