I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
