You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
