I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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