When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
