so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
