i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
