closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
